May 2016 - Impactcoachingsolutions

How to get insight from a 10 minute dump

Posted on May 11, 2016November 8, 2022 by @admin

[:en]Excuse the title but I couldn’t help myself, I thought getting you to smile a little is good for the soul. I know the title I chose could be interpreted many ways. In this particular case I want to share an activity that can be helpful in generating ideas, sharing thoughts, working out problems, looking at different perspectives, even releasing negative energy. I learned this technique from my coach trainer during my coach certification program, and sad to say, he had to remind me to put it into practice again. I seem to have forgotten the power and relief it can provide.

I am talking about ten-minutes a day, a ten-minute brain dump on paper. Literally taking ten minutes to write down ideas, thoughts, feelings, or simple words can work magic. It is not necessary to be perfect, it does not need to be meaningful, grammatically correct, or even make sense – it’s about letting your thoughts roll onto the paper. Think and ink is the way to go with this exercise. Notice I use the word “ink” in the exercise. Using your hand to write will directly connect your brain and your paper, it makes a difference. The computer can be efficient, but in this particular case we are looking for quality time not necessarily efficiency. Preferably in the morning, before the day starts taking off, if not in the evening as you’re wrapping up the day works to quiet your mind before going to bed.Buy yourself a special notebook. Choose a time in the morning or evening that better works into your schedule. In my case, I prefer mornings, my husband has chosen evenings. It’s about you so make it a moment you have to yourself. Begin writing daily for ten-minutes. Set a timer if necessary. Make this a habit. Do this every day, after three months you will notice a difference. The few minutes you are spending writing will clear your mind and lead to new insights.

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The Communication Dance

Posted on May 10, 2016 by @admin

[:en]There is a fine line between constructive criticism and just flat out disapproval. Being on the receiving end can either be helpful or make you defensive. We are all born with the ability to express ourselves; we all know how to display emotions and we all communicate them, unfortunately we are not all equipped with the same ability of knowing exactly when we should communicate certain thoughts, feelings or suggestions, I call it tact. Some are born with it; and others, well sadly it takes a lifetime.

It comes down to communication, and trying to get our ideas across to others without offending.There is no right or wrong, it takes effort to communicate from both the giver and receiver of the information. It’s similar to a dance; where the movements and rhythm need to sync and flow in the same direction , a minor misstep can throw off the balance and alter the sequence. Being aware, observing, skill and communicating can bring it back to flow. Even if you have two left feet, you can learn and be more aware.

Communication is vital. You have to listen actively. You have to observe. Like a detective looking for clues. Malcolm Gladwell, says it best in his book, Blink, “it takes two seconds to jump to a series of conclusions…those instant conclusions the we reach are really powerful and really important and, occasionally, really good.” In those seconds you can observe and decide the kind of emotion the other is feeling or the intensity of their communication to you. The giver and receiver need to be mindful and observe.

Take a moment to respond. Breath before saying a word. Let the words settle. Now you can ask questions for clarity, you can rephrase what you heard to make sure you understood. If the communication you received is positive, no problem, you’re good to go. But if it happens to be negative, you want to make sure you heard correctly, the message you received is accurate. This clarification will help prevent further anxiety and miscommunications. Words do not have the same meaning to all. So changing some words to rephrase the message is a good choice.

If you are the giver of the information, make sure you are being clear and concise. Make sure you are being compassionate and sensitive to the person receiving the information. If you are looking to get results from the conversation, you need them working with you not against you. It’s all in the delivery, how you word and say things can be the difference between positive and negative outcomes. Speak from your heart be genuine.

Acceptance is a best friend. Perceptions are different from person to person. They are never exactly the same. Understand that the perception of this individual is not the same, and the way it was received by them may not have been intended. But it is their perception, and you have to accept that. You can try to explain it, or try to change it in the future, you may totally disagree – but it is valid to the other person. Next time you will know that it might take a little extra effort, or a softer tone, or a different expression. We all have a diversity of perspectives, if we want others to accept ours, than we need to be willing to accept those of others.

When all is said and done, the important thing to do is move forward. Do things differently. Continuing to sift through the rubble will not help; it will keep you from moving ahead and working on improving. Bring up suggestions that could create a better solution next time, discuss other results that might be more acceptable. You may think your way is best, sometimes best is not better. Ask what would be or seem better to them. The ideas and exchange of information is valuable to move forward. Each situation, each moment is different, you never know when that critique or disapproval could help and lead you to a better and more innovative solution to the new situation you are facing.

Choose your words wisely, listen actively, observe. Remember, it’s all in your delivery.

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2 Key Coaching Questions to Manage Your Predicaments!

Posted on May 8, 2016November 8, 2022 by @admin

[:en]Can this be changed? Can I do something about it?

I am a firm believer of goals, plans and actions, I am convinced that if I have not gotten something in life, it is because I have not had the discipline to implement a good plan to get it, I think that is empowering. But I also recognize that sometimes some of our energy gets lost on trying to change something that will not change.

We have so many popular phrases or sayings to help us accept things and be complacent, like: “Everything is as it should be”, or “Things happen for a reason”, or “It is God’s will”. I am not discarding any of these; actually I think all of them are pretty valid and true.

Where I believe we fail is when we do not have a firm position, of either accepting it or fighting it, switching back and forth between I will do something and there is nothing to do will not help your cause. When we face challenges or difficult situations in our life we need to start handling them with a clear and definite assessment, use these two powerful coaching questions: Can this be changed? Can I do something about it?

Instead of asking (and answering those questions) sometimes we start the useless dance between frustration, anxiety and impotence; and worriedness, sadness and low energy action. But the better formula to solve your predicaments is to follow, with firm conviction, these 2 elements: acceptance and action.

Can this be changed? If the answer is no then acceptance is your word: “Everything is as it should be”, or “Things happen for a reason”, or “It is God’s will”, stop fighting the situation and accept that it is what it is. And you are not off the hook, your acceptance action is to start thinking if you want to stay in that unchangeable situation or what things you can do in the future to be able to answer “Yes, it can be changed”, only then will you be able to stop acceptance and move to the next powerful question.

Can I do something about it? If the answer is no, same situation, acceptance is your word and exactly the same process applies, your acceptance action is to start thinking on what are the things that you can change in yourself to be able to do something about it?, only when you can answer “Yes, I can do something about it” you are ready for real action. If it can change and if you can change it, then you now have all of the power, no more acceptance, it is about goal, plan and disciplined execution. The key principles of coaching.

Now this is the tricky part, our present moment, our changing reality is never a standing still moment, think about it, the second you are living your present it becomes the past and your next second arrives from the future with your new present, in a blink of an eye.

Top performers, leaders, achievers, champions, enlightened fulfilled beings are those that manage to split every second of their precious moments in life in 2 parts: the present moment where they accept everything is as it should be, and the present moment where assessing the situation they take action to think, talk or act with whatever is needed to create better futures.

May be the skill to split a second is going to take you some time, but a good beginning is to start splitting your challenges, problems, predicaments in two parts: acceptance and action.

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