Author: Sabrina Bruederlin

In coaching we use powerful questions to open up new avenues of thoughts that we hadn’t considered before, or even chosen to ignore. When you study it, you realize curiosity is a proven necessity for our psychological and physical development. If it weren’t for our curious minds pushing us to ask questions about the things we don’t understand, our knowledge of the world and the different subjects that interest us would not exist. The same idea goes with our curiosity of the physical world around us. If we didn’t move our bodies into exploring the elements and our potential, we would not have even breached the surface on all of the things our bodies are capable of accomplishing. This is why coaches recognize not only the benefits of asking questions but the necessity of a curious mind for personal growth.

The ability to use curiosity as a tool that teaches us about the world around us, often develops into an interest in understanding what is within us. When we ask questions to find the deeper meaning behind things, we cultivate an awareness of our own thoughts and feelings, and we begin to explore what it means to us. As we move into what are considered the “darker” months of the year, the sun starts setting earlier and the weather gets chillier, a lot of us can find ourselves experiencing tougher emotions. Whether you’re feeling restless, demotivated, tense, or simply in need of an attitude adjustment; these tough emotions can easily become overwhelming and take control of our days, weeks, or even months. Unfortunately, when we’re experiencing these emotions we typically retract from looking inside and find it easier to stay within that state of mind with habits that are not serving us in those difficult moments. At this point, I’m sure we all know where old habits and negative thought patterns will get us on the path of self-improvement, so what do we do in those instances? We recognize that we have the honor of interviewing the most interesting person we’ve ever met in our lives: our own brain.

There are so many different people and interests for us to be curious about in our lifetime that we often forget to wonder about ourselves. Why do we think the way we do? What motivates us? Where is this reaction coming from and how is it serving me? Taking a moment to ask ourselves these questions and practice mindfulness, gives us an essential awareness of how our brain functions and an opportunity to explore ways to reframe thoughts and beliefs that are no longer serving us. Meeting these tough emotions with curiosity doesn’t mean that they’ll immediately be changed and replaced with positivity, what it does is it creates a space of reflection within yourself to see what your emotions feel like to you. Practicing mindfulness in that way can give you a deeper understanding of the effects your emotions have on you and a chance to recognize what steps you need to get through your highs and lows. Whether it’s taking a moment to journal, releasing your thoughts on paper, or reaching out to someone for support, appreciating that asking for help is courageous; be curious. Next time you feel like you’re getting lost in these tough emotions, take a deep breath and check in with yourself. Take advantage of this opportunity because at the end of the day you’re the most interesting person you’ll ever know.

Routines are our comfort zones. They are predictable, effective and easy to maintain on autopilot. Our routines depend on the belief that we will succeed if we stay on the path we’ve created. But what happens when an unforeseen obstacle appears in the middle of our path? If
we try and find a way around it, we break the track we’ve been following closely. If we stick to the course, we are paralyzed behind an obstacle that we didn’t plan for. So what’s the right choice?

Well, as we all hopefully know, right and wrong when it comes to personal decisions is largely subjective. The truth is that no matter how committed we are to the paths we have set up and the routines we live by, external forces are always fair game. While the hope is that positive surprises come our way on our journey through life, the unexpected can often startle us and leave us a bit pessimistic. When we get so locked into an idea of how things are supposed to happen and what our path is supposed to look like, it can be easy to feel disappointed and even stuck in a discouraged state. When we feel stuck, we start thinking that things will never change and suddenly the autopilot system that we’ve been so dependent on feels more like a trap than a comfort zone.

While comfort zones are exactly that, comfortable, limiting our anxiety and maintaining a relatively low output of mental energy, they often fail to prepare for unexpected circumstances. When we are jolted by something new that we didn’t see coming, our comfort zone doesn’t include the tools to help us fully deal with a situation that is making us uncomfortable. When we break from the routines that have created an overwhelming safety blanket, we begin to see new possibilities that our brain may have automatically labeled as risky since it broke from our initial path. If you don’t perform activities that somewhat scare or challenge you, you miss out on growth opportunities. As the saying goes: no risk, no reward. If we don’t try something new out of complacency, we remain stagnant, achieving the same results.

Comfort zones are a psychological state that protects us and keeps us at ease and the last thing I would want any of you to do is go through life in a constant feeling of stress and panic. With that being said, everything in life is about balance. There is a time to feel rejuvenated and in control of your environment, continuing on a steady path and spending time to heal. There are also many moments to push through what is comfortable and safe. To, ultimately, expand your comfort zone by trying things that cause discomfort and doubt, allowing yourself to improve your skill set and realize how capable you are of overcoming challenges and succeeding even when things don’t go as planned.

Intentionality in life is a gift that we must continue to give ourselves, even in unfamiliar times. We will make mistakes along the way and we will have to adapt as our paths change. What is imperative in these moments, is to continue on. Find your way around the obstacle and embrace the new sights with excitement. You never know what new horizons you’ll come across, it may just be your best work yet. With that, I leave you with Isaac Newton’s First Law of Motion: “every object will remain at rest or in uniform motion in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force.”

Confidence: one of the most important qualities in determining our success, yet feels like the hardest feeling to accomplish daily. Why is that? When we are confident, a certain kind of energy is given off to those around us that enforces their confidence in us. But we live in a society where being confident in oneself is something to strive for. This is not something we try to accomplish when we are young. We are born believing we are the most amazing being on this planet. We show off how fast we run, how high we jump, how great we dance, how beautifully we sing the ABC’s, and every single thing we’ve learned in our fresh lives. Interestingly enough, this is a key part of our psychological development.

To say this year’s been a whirlwind would be an understatement. After 2020, like many did, I thought this year was going to be a piece of cake with things finally falling back into place. I don’t know about you, but boy was I wrong. I’ve found myself facing several difficult times and trying to figure out what my own strengths were. As I continued working from home I realized that “work-life balance” is a loaded sentence. My resilience was put to the test as I faced heartbreak and burnout. After losing people who meant a great deal to me and trying to cope with work overwhelm I realized that life would be so much easier if we were prepared for hardships. Obviously, I’m not naive enough to think we can prepare for the unexpected but it did get me thinking about what kind of person I am and what I need to thrive.

As kids, our curiosity has no limits. We embrace the world around us by questioning every bit of it that we experience. We aren’t afraid of annoying anyone or seeming like we don’t have everything under control. Instead, we find joy and excitement in learning about our environments and all that is a part of it. Somewhere along the way doubt begins to cloud us. As strange as it sounds, we grow fearful of showing others that we aren’t perfect and don’t know everything. The truth is, none of us have ever met a perfect person in our entire lives.